Thursday, January 10, 2008

Candidate questionnaire: "Scary" Mike "the Rabbi" Kushnir

Why do you want to be the VP Admin of the AMS?
i'm really the only qualified candidate for the job, seeing as howneither of my opponents seem to be either scandal-free or capable ofhandling the intense pressure of the job. the way i see it, the VP-adminposition is more or less like being a First Lady; you have to be thereto welcome foreign dignitaries into your house, and generally be the"face" of the organization. the goal should be to make your constituentsfeel GOOD about being your constituents. i'll be there to do it - in asea-foam green taffeta dress. (i challenge my opponents to do better).·

What personal skills and experiences could you bring to theportfolio?
i have a direct mandate from god. plus i mix a mean sour apple addition, having been in a brutal european thought-policedictatorship (france) for the last year, i have a unique view of studentgovernance: namely, more is more. i think that the electorate wouldagree with me that more bureaucracy, indeed, means that life runs smoother.·

If there was one thing you could change about the AMS whatwould it be?
i want to see a more convivial atmosphere in the AMS - one that hasEVERYBODY coming to events, not just student politicians. therefore, ipropose an AMS gulag; if you don't hit up one beer garden a month, bam!to the gulag! (there will probably be a brewery at the gulag, allowingfor cheap beer at said beer gardens.) basically, the new motto of theAMS will be "have a good time! or else!" certainly, i would change thename of the organization - the AMS should stand for "the Awesome Motherf***ing Society". long story short, the AMS needs to better defendthe rights of students; make sure that we have what we have struggledfor: a strong voice on campus, the right to responsible drinking andplenty of good times at UBC. (seriously, kids. the fun at this school isgoing down the toilets. pretty soon, we're gonna be SFU.)·

If you could change the way SAC functions, how would you do it?
seeing as my victory is guaranteed, i'd probably hire sarah naiman as my vice-chair; that way, she does all the dirty work, and i take politicalcredit for what is quickly becoming her personal legacy project: the newSUB! (don't worry, sarah - i promise to name it the Sarah Naiman SUB!)as for the rest of SAC, i'll probably fire them all and get yian to dothe rest of the work.·

What's your vision for a new SUB? How will you get it passed inreferendum?
it's well-outlined in my platform that a 24-hour disco with aroller-derby is in the works for the SUB. this plan reeks of so much AWESOME that it's impossible that it would fail. in any case, unlike oneof my opponents, who may or may not have been inspired by the partiquébécois policy of demanding failing referenda ad-nauseum, i'llprobably hire some goon to stuff the ballot boxes so that i get a 99.5%"YES" vote. like in cuba. (honestly, though: i'm all for renovating theSUB and making gradual additions to it, but do we really NEED abrand-new SUB? at the going rate of about $60 per head, i'm going to say"no". with the exception of queues during peak periods, which areinevitable anywhere, i think that the damn thing works pretty well as-is.)·

There's an AMS sustainability strategy currently in the works. What's your vision for sustainability at the AMS?
i propose banning all disposable cups and/or food containers, to getstudents to bring their own. for those who feel that raping theenvironment is just too tempting, however, i propose an alternative:either buying a crapload of those fantastic re-usable plastic beer mugsand branded plastic containers and selling them for $1 each, or servingstudents in edible waffle cups in one of three tempting flavours:vanilla, chocolate and pumpernickel. not only does this provide nowaste, but it also lets you say "...and then i ate the cup!"